A Great Suit, a Great Haircut, a Trip Outside the Neighborhood, and the Vice President

Jason Page, Men Can Stop Rape’s Director of Community Education, attended Vice President Biden’s 17th anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) with two Men of Strength (MOST) Club members - Ernest, an eighth grader at Jefferson Middle School, and Josh, a senior at Ballou Senior High School.

Jason describes the experience of taking Ernest and Josh to the Vice President’s house:

Ernest actually had a run-in with the Vice President. The reception took place in Vice President Biden’s back yard, and after he spoke and was walking toward the house for pictures, he complimented Ernest on his haircut and suit. Ernest barely could say thank you he was so shocked. The Vice President shook his hand and asked him his name and then the Secret Service ushered him into the house. Ernest, Josh, and myself went and got in the line to have our picture taken with him. When the three of us got to the front of the line, of course Vice President Biden remembered Ernest from just 10 minutes ago and said to his wife, “Honey, I just met this young man outside. Doesn’t he have a great suit and a great haircut?”

The rest of the evening Ernest had a smile on his face from ear-to-ear, and he thanked me. I know that this was something very special and important to him. I spoke to his mother about it a couple days later, and she thanked me and the organization for giving him the opportunity and said that he had been talking about it a lot around the house.

Josh enjoyed himself; it was great to hear him talk to some other people at the reception about what the MOST Club is, how it is at Ballou High School. I was proud to hear him speak of it the way he did. When you’re in a different setting sometimes you wonder how the guys will explain the Club. What he said wasn’t surprising to me, but it made me feel good. After dropping him off at his house following the reception, Josh sent me a text saying he really appreciated me picking him to go. The next day while we were talking about recruiting new MOST Club members, he mentioned that even though he’s from DC, he’d never been to that part of the city before. It’s a different world to him. That touched me. You can be born and raised in the nation’s capital and never even see the northwest side or never see certain parts, living in the neighborhood he’s from. So I know that meant a lot to him. Days later he’s still talking about it.

He’s going to share his experience with the other guys at Ballou, and I’m definitely going to use him this year when other opportunities like this come up. We look for those guys who will always be there when we call on them to help us out, and at the same time give them those great experiences. I know Josh and Ernest feel more like they’re part of the MOST Club now. Things like this give them a little extra boost, and that’s what our young men need at times. Share

Take a Stand Against Monotonous Sexism

by Abigail Eisley, Administrative Assistant

Due to no response, I had all but given up on writing strongly worded e-mails to companies, organizations, or individuals that brought offense to my ideals in some way or another -- until yesterday evening. I was quietly unwinding after a long day at work at Men Can Stop Rape by cruising the blogosphere. I was startled when I came across this "suitcase sticker" advertised on the INFMETRY shop website. The sticker is among a series that allows you to have some fun with your luggage by making one side of it look x-rayed revealing drugs, sex toys, dollar bills, and lastly the one I took issue with, a bound and gagged, crying woman. I had seen this sticker before on feministing.com. They initially noted its existence back in 2010, and I was incensed to realize that despite many complaints made to www.thecheeky.com, the stickers are still for sale. While suitcase stickers may be a fun idea to "take a stand against monotonous travel" as advertised on their website, making light of violence against women and human trafficking is inexcusable. Since when is kidnapping and binding a woman against her will "fun"? And, how does a company place trafficking a human being on the same level as trafficking drugs, wads of cash and sex toys?

Maybe it's because I have been reading Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions by Gloria Steinham, or maybe it was because I have become more confident expressing my distaste of individuals joking about violence against women, or violence in general by working at Men Can Stop Rape, or maybe it's because I just felt like writing a strongly worded e-mail (it had been awhile!). Whatever the reason was, I proactively decided not to keep silent, and I put into practice some bystander intervention we always discuss and defend at work, by sending a strongly worded e-mail to INFMETRY's customer service department. I wrote: 

"This is regarding your company's decision to sell this item here:  http://www.infmetry.com/toys/wicked/suitcase-stickers.Canada has banned the sale of these stickers for a reason. It is completely offensive and in bad taste to market an item that obviously makes light of violence against women. I hope you can reconsider your poor decision to make a profit off a serious and underreported issue that wreaks havoc on the livelihood of millions of women, girls, and men worldwide."

If you notice, the link above doesn't work. This is because within an hour of berating them electronically, they responded with:

"Hi,

Thanks for you warning, in fact we just think it is a little wicked so we put it in our site, we donot have it in stock, and actually not one of our customer has place the order for it, anyway, we will cancel the page as your will.

Regards,
Infmetry"

Kudos to Infmetry! Not only did I receive the self-satisfaction that one of my strongly worded e-mails finally made some sort of impact, but now this offensive and ridiculous item is removed from their site. However, the fact that is exists still troubles me, and really shows how harmful attitudes towards women exist in many arenas. Sometimes you need to just focus on a job well done, no matter how small, and celebrate that taking action is not always met with roadblocks. I have sent the same e-mail to thecheeky.com, and I urge you to do the same if you feel strongly. Only when we realize that violence against women, human trafficking, and other serious issues focused on destroying individual freedoms are not a joke, will we be able to move past these issues once and for all.




Abigail Eisley has been working as Administrative Assistant with MCSR since June of this year, following an internship with the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance in Richmond, VA. She is a graduate of James Madison University with a degree in Justice Studies: Global Justice and Policy. At MCSR she provides administrative and program support as well as other tasks. 

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